I am not a fan of when people say “God is so good because He did *such and such*” or “God is so faithful because *things went my way* or *I liked the outcome of the situation.*” I always think, ‘but what if it didn’t turn out like that? He is STILL good!’

I’ve not always thought this way, but after certain experiences and the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit, I was reminded that He is always good, even when my current situation is not. I didn’t realize what I was saying when I included the “because” after saying He is good. He is good. Period. No “because.” He is good.

It is so easy to give God the glory when things go our way, but we need to remember how good He is in the hard times as well.

There were times when I felt that God just wasn’t for me or my family because of the pain or loneliness we were experiencing. I knew He loved me, but maybe He wasn’t for me. I thought as a Christ follower that if I just did X, Y, or Z, I would get a safe result. I had experienced trials, but there was always the bright and favorable “after” when life would move forward again and things would feel normal, kind of like a “life lesson learned, now onto the next” sort of situation.

I remember the phone call the day our son Chito was in a car accident. The day the doctor said, “come now, and hurry!” As my husband, two of our young teens, and myself drove a couple hours away to the hospital he was in, I noticed the kids sat in silence, listening to worship music the whole way. I was so glad that God was their “go to” in a time such as this.

When we arrived, we quickly met with the doctor and we walked down what seemed to be the longest hallway in the entire world. As we turned the corner, our lives shattered in seconds. Laying there was our broken boy, so many cords and tubes, and machines breathing for him. His head was wrapped in blood-stained gauze.

We prayed and prayed as we watched the medical staff work for over 2 hours to stabilize Chito so he could be transferred. We prayed, and we prayed hard! We prayed for miraculous healing, or for any sort of miracle, really. We prepared ourselves for a long road of physical rehab, or whatever it would take to bring Chito back to us, healthy and whole, desperately wanting this all to be only but a horrible dream.

Later that night, he was transferred to a larger hospital in Chicago. We had so many people praying, and we were just waiting for that moment when God would “show up.”

So many people were praying. Our kids were praying over their brother’s broken body. Poncho and I remained in a state of shock and much later, we realized what the doctor was trying to tell us all along: Chito was gone. It took multiple gentle visits from the doctor for this news to sink in, before he asked us when we would be ready to unplug him. Unplug??? I couldn’t

comprehend what he was saying. I felt so angry. Why? How? No words needed to be expressed over the pain Poncho and I felt when we locked eyes in that moment. Chito passed away that afternoon. He has gone before us into the arms of our Father.

The years since then have been full of grief, pain, and drawing near to the Lord in so many ways. I feel closer to Him than ever, but never do I look back on those 24 hours and think that God did or didn’t show up. I don’t believe He “shows up” or that He “is faithful when…” I believe God’s love is perfect, even in our pain!

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” Job 1:21